I’m giving up

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I’ve been called mr persistence. I guess it’s my middle name. I know what I want and I’m not afraid to ask for it when I have to. Especially for those who appear to be of a more indecisive nature, this assessment of my character might prove to be true. Because that’s how the mind works: in dualities. Things are true or false, yes or no, dark or light, good or bad. It makes life easy, we think.

A word I’m less familiar with is the concept of “patience”. I know what I want and I want it now. Or sometimes I don’t know what I want but I still want it now. Either way the mix of persistence, indecision and impatience is a tricky one. Initially impatience is a great catalyst for persistence. It’s keeps me going and motivates me to go after the things I want. Particularly in sales, but probably this works in any job, persistence helps to keep picking up the phone and to go after your customer. You do not rest until they’re satisfied. But when I don’t find the results I want the impatience takes over and kills my motivation. It’s like the fire department coming to put out the fire of persistence. I hear the sirens calling…

Turns out that sometimes you have to let go. Giving up isn’t such a bad thing. Instead of dealing with the messed up love triangle of indecision, persistence, patience (or the lack thereof), I’m planning to let it all go. At least I tried. There’s no need to label everything. I’m just going to be me for a while and see what happens next.

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