Most humans think they are superior to animals. As Paul Lowe says, animal lives consist of the three F’s: feeding, fighting, and reproduction. Sounds familiar? In a relationship, people think they’re free. We make ourselves believe we’re doing well, as long as the other person doesn’t talk about a certain person in their past or family, or doesn’t exhibit a certain behavior we don’t like. The relationship is like an invisible dog fence.
I often see those fences advertised around the rural farmhouses and acreages of Southern Alberta. At one point I considered buying one of those fences. My German Shepherd dog used to live on a large farm. She’s a roamer. She doesn’t take off and to run for the hills, but she does like to wander around and make new friends. The idea behind the electric fence is simple. The minute a dog gets to the perimeter, it gets a small electric shock. Sounds evil, but the companies that make these things claim they’re pet-friendly. Learning where the boundaries are, the dog learns and remembers how far it can go. As pet owners, the electric fence allows us to feel safe and secure without having to watch the animal’s every move.
For some, installing a similar invisible fence into their relationship might sound like a wonderful idea. Maybe you have one operational already. Is it going to work long term? My dog is too smart for her own good, and I’m sure eventually she would have figured out the weak spots that exist in most boundaries. Systems aren’t flawless. She’d take a good running start, take off toward the perimeter, take the shock for granted and bust right through to freedom. Isn’t the intelligence of dogs amazing?
The love a dog feels for their owner is unconditional. It doesn’t matter how upset I get with my canine companion over something she’s destroyed in my house or yard. She’ll still want to go for a walk or have a belly rub within minutes after I got mad. Dogs don’t hold on to grudges. Whether or not that’s animal intelligence or lack thereof goes beyond the scope of my book, but for the sake of this argument let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. My dog didn’t want to escape. She just enjoyed roaming around the large property and making friends with neighboring farm animals.
One day I was extremely worried when she had been gone for several hours. When I finally found her in the midst of a group of cows, she couldn’t be happier to see me. She didn’t need an electric fence to keep her coming back to me. The true concept of freedom is an absolute. Freedom doesn’t have any conditions. True freedom is without compromise, and has no fear. Freedom means you don’t make concessions, and don’t settle. How free do you feel today? Is there any compromise, or electric fence in your life? If so, take care of it, or stop complaining about it. You are as free as you allow yourself to be. Ultimately, it’s a yes or no question. No need for an electric fence, or other arbitrary provisions.
A committed, conscious relationship based on individual freedom means that two people choose to be together. It’s a choice based on free will, not on a piece of paper someone external at church or city hall gave you. True love is the choice to stay together, while having the ability and independence to leave. The analogy might be inappropriate, however when I adopted my German shepherd dog I was afraid she would run for the hills if I let her off the leash. I kept her close by my side for the first few weeks after I adopted her, based on the trainers recommendation. However when I eventually was comfortable enough to let her off the leash, she never ran away. She stayed with me, right by my side as if I had never even taken the leash off. She has stayed right there ever since.
My beloved dog “Angel” passed away in the week before my Love book was launched. She’s been my very best friend in the last ten years living in Canada, and shared many memories with me.
This post contains a story from my new book. To continue reading, please buy yourself a copy of the book. The Freedom Project Love 2.0, an upgraded view to the way humans relate to each other, was release in May of 2018. The paperback version of the book is available on Amazon, Amazon Canada, Barnes & Noble and finer book retailers worldwide. For those who like ebooks (not me), it’s also available on Amazon Kindle. To learn more about the Freedom Project series please visit www.freedomprojectbook.com. Thanks for your support!FreedomProjectBook.com