Why setting goals and being realistic are not the same thing

Keep your goals realistic, someone said. Sounds reasonable. Then again, the word “realistic” is derived from reality – something we perceive as real. With the past behind us and the future ahead of us, all we can perceive as real is now. So the objective of being real is to be here, now, with what is today. Being real and authentic doesn’t mean living in a fantasy filled dream world focused on tomorrow when “everything will be better”. It also doesn’t mean getting stuck in the past, wallowing in self-pity over perceived mistakes or believed missed opportunities. If you really think about it, neither of those exist today.

Instead of being real, we pretend to be all sorts of things were not. Happy. Content. Successful. The topics on which we project those attributes vary: our job, relationship, company, career, income, friends, social life, the list goes on. And we share our “reality” of our grand, imaginary life on Facebook. We make our pictures and our status updates reflect the life w…