My worst nightmare: Flying with babies… in business class

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First – let me set one thing straight before even kicking off this post: I love kids. We should all be more like them, have less responsibilities and sincerely enjoy life. Because by now I know the idea of “growing up” is a trap. Sure, I get to enjoy the occasional alcoholic beverage and do cool stuff like driving cars and motorcycles. But in the end of the day I got the same satisfaction out of driving my peddle-car. I just didn’t make it that far distance wise, but then again I didn’t care.

I also love kids while travelling – but in some cases I strongly dislike their parents. They show up at the airport tired and stressed, causing their little ones to be even more frustrated and cry (if not scream) for the entire duration of a 9 hour flight to Amsterdam. Sure, especially the very little ones might not understand what’s happening to them inside the cabin and might freak out or be in actual pain because the pressure is hurting their little ears. I get it. But that doesn’t last the entire flight. The crying did.

If you have the privilege to sit in front of a young family be prepared to have your seat kicked. With any luck (like mine) they have twins so they can alternate the screaming – by the time one gets to sleep the second one kicks in. And the stewardesses love the kids whenever they come by. “She’s SO adorable!” Yeah right. They don’t have to sit I front or even anywhere near the little kicking sound machines.

The above is, unfortunately, all based on true stories. What do we do? Forbid parents with babies and young children to fly? Put them in a special “kids class” – or even a separate plane where they can all scream together? Good luck finding an airline crew for that one.

Sometimes the parents are even worse. On a recent flight they tried to negotiate with their offspring in an unsuccessful attempt to get them to be quiet. The parents ended up making lady baby sounds and even played music from a smart phone out loud.

On a recent trip I had enough and decided to upgrade myself to business class. Surely I would avoid screaming babies in there, and although the magical curtain that separates economy from business class doesn’t have many soundproofing powers – surely it would do some good. Imagine my surprise – while I’m settling into my very cool seat (with massage features!) a young family finds their way into business class. Surely they must be lost, I thought. But instead they started assembling not one but two baby cots to the front wall – for which they didn’t have one, but two very small children. I was doomed.

After they settled in the dad took the time to make a quick round through the business class cabin, informing passengers with the following words: “I’m so sorry. This is not what it seems, we do this all the time and trust me – they’ll sleep. “. I didn’t believe him, at all. But they to my, and everybody else’s surprise, the babies slept (like babies). The whole 9 hour flight. It was a true Christmas miracle.

Read more:

• 8 tips for traveling with young children
• The Freedom Project – Travel (book)

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