Last week I wrote about approval addiction and how it’s holding us back in life. Instead of making others responsible for your feelings, let’s look at some tips to improve your self-esteem. My friend and mentor Jack Canfield thought me that an increased self-esteem will lead to increased self-worth (not always the same thing) – and that if you can master your self-esteem you’ll be ready for anything as what other people say or think of you doesn’t matter so much anymore – if at all.
Here are ten practical tips that can help you improve your self–esteem.
- Don’t give in to negativity or cynicism from bullies in your work place or in your personal life. Surround yourself with positive and successful people, and limit the time you spend with “friends” who are cynical and negative. The right network will create a supportive environment to help you grow and develop yourself more.
- Be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work actively towards achieving them. Divide any big goal into several smaller goals which are easier to achieve. Not only will it break the large goal down into manageable steps, it will also give you something to celebrate every time you complete one of the smaller goals.
- Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and yourself. Don’t make the mistake of holding onto negative experiences, and never put yourself down.
- Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. Nobody can push your buttons unless that button was there to begin with. This awareness will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem.
- We all will make a mistake from time to time, but the only real failure is giving up. When something doesn’t work out as planned, pull yourself together and move on. As I write in my Happiness book: As long as you keep moving towards your goal, detours are acceptable.
- I wrote a post about this a while ago and I want to re-emphasize it again today: Never compare yourself to others. Comparing is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. Instead, celebrate your own (big and small) achievements which will boost your self-confidence.
- Filter out all self-criticism and negative self-talk: never put yourself down. Failures are like parasites. If you focus on them and allow them to grow they will eat away your self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem. Eliminate negative thoughts from your mind by replacing it with a positive thought, even in most adverse situations.
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